Morganville Madness
by Kittylover118
Summary: Some Random Morganville shorts I wrote a while ago. Featuring Oliver being stapled to a wall by Myrnin and Shreve. Enjoy! Please R&R! x MV belongs to Rachel Caine and not me, if you didn't already know
1. Myrnin and his staples

" Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Lemme help! I wanna help too!" Myrnin whined loudly, begging Amelie to let him help with the preperations for her Spring Ball.

" _Fine._ You can help set up the streamers with Oliver." Amelie sighed. As Myrnin turned to go and "help" Oliver, Amelie added quickly, " And don't staple him to the wall again."

Myrnin sighed and disappeared. Then Pennywell appeared.

" I thought he'd never leave." He grumbled.

" Can I help you?" Amelie snarled. Pennywell looked up at Amelie his pale eyes looking as dark as always.

" The Glass House brats are here." He said boredly, looking at his fingernails. " Oliver thought you should know."

" And what about you?" Amelie raised one of her slender eyebrows at Pennywell. He just grinned perfect white teeth and said, " I don't really give a damn about them. But hey, with the fool out there, he'll probably convince Claire to come and help which'll mean the whole gang of brats will help too." Pennywell shrugged. " Which also means, I don't need to work as hard."

Amelie smiled and walked out of the storage closet holding the paper table throw-overs and Pennywell followed. Oliver was stapled to the wall with masking tape over his mouth, thrashing and yelling at Myrnin who was carefully aiming the staple gun for the centre of his head.

" MYRNIN!" Amelie screeched and dropped the paper table throw-overs and raced to Oliver's aid.

" What?" Myrnin asked innocently, spreading his hands in a wide shrug. The stapler gun went off with a loud pop and Myrnin flinched. Pennywell ducked as the staple flew over his head and buried itself in a nearby wall. Pennywell strode up to Myrnin and snatched the staple gun out of his hands with a snarl.

" You're not safe with machinery."

Myrnin gave an idiotic grin and rubbed the back of his head. The staple gun went off again and Pennywell and Myrnin both flinched.

Oliver was on the ground now with Amelie next to him unwrapping the last of the staples from him. Oliver growled as Amelie pulled out the last staple and she gave hime a small peck of the cheek. Oliver looked at her and Amelie looked back. They were speaking through their eyes.

Myrnin thought he was going to throw up. But Pennywell, he felt loneliness tug on his heart.

" Ewww! Get a room!" It was Eve yelling at Oliver and Amelie. She smiled happily, arm-in-arm with Claire who was smiling slightly too.

Myrnin waved in a huge arch and yelled, " HELLOOO CLAAAIRE AND SHREVE HOW ARE YOU TODAY?!"

Pennywell glanced over at them and sighed at Myrnin's stupidity and at Eve's choice of clothing. Black? Seriously? Doesn't that _attract _the sun? For someone who wants to be as pale as a vampire, Pennywell doubted that it was in her best interest to wear something that would give her a tan.

" Myrnin my name's Eve, _duuuuh._ Don't you remember?_"_ Eve rolled her eyes.

" Sorry, _Eveduuuuh." _Myrnin said apolegetically. Eve looked at Myrnin for a long moment and sighed.

" Just call me Eve." She said.

" Okay."

" Idiot." Pennywell grumbled under his breath.

" Fool." Murmmered Oliver.

" The guys are bring the stuff you asked for in now." Claire said sweetly, distracting Myrnin from getting his hands wrapped around Pennywell's neck. As if on cue, Shane and Michael walked in carrying boxes of food, paper plates and plastic cups.

" Then we'll get started shall we?" Amelie said as she collected all the streamers that had been on Oliver and handed them to Myrnin and said, " And _no_ fighting."


	2. Morleys Stoo

**I'm suprised that people acually _like_ this. So, this chapter is for my good friend, DragonsAreAwesome for saying " I'm just having a stoo," like Morley would and making me cry with laughter. And also for making me write this because she only writes Hetalia fanfiction. Enjoy!**

" Blacke. It's spelt like the colour only with an 'e' on the end. How creative.

It might as well be labled Grey, with a silent 'h'; _Greyh_, seen as it's so _boring._ But it only looks like that from the outside. What is it, you think, that makes it so special, that-"

" Shut, up Morley." Oliver grumbled. Morleys face fell.

" But I was just getting to the good part!" He protested. Well, all he was going to say was that the town was infested with vampires just like Morganville. He was so dramatic. Which is a good thing if you're an actor.

" It's not just Blacke that's boring; it's Morley too!" Pennywell taunted. He and Oliver laughed. Morley sighed, also very dramatically.

" O, how cruel art thee," he sang, hand to his forehead (guess what?) _dramatically._" O, how-" Morley stopped short as he realised; Oliver and Pennywell had left whilst his back was turned.

He pulled out a chair and sat down, trying his best not to cry like a baby.

_No,_ He told himself sternly. _I will not let them bring me down._

And so, feeling happier in himself, he went to have a stoo*.

~Morley having his stoo~

_These stoos are much better than they were back in the day, _he thought as he made himself a beard out of bubbles.

Full of disease and other things that I daren't remember. These new ones are fantastic!

He became cosy in his stoo and fell asleep, only to be woken by Oliver four hours later.

" What is wrong with you?!" Oliver screeched. " You almost drowned!"

" I was just having a stoo, old boy." Morley replied calmly.

" If we hadn't come back, water would've filled your empty lungs and you'd be comatose for five days!"

" Oliver, darling, do you like my beard?" Morley asked stroking his chin thoughtfully.

This odd fan-fiction ends with Morley being hit over the head repeatedly by Oliver and Pennywell filming him the whole time. The video Pennywell recorded went on Facebook, labelled; _Why Does Oliver Hate Santa?_ and has 3 million likes already.

But Morley, I'm glad you enjoyed your stoo.

*stoo = a bath and toilet all in one, like Roman baths kinda. Just not so hygenic. Or safe.


	3. Intro: Truth Or Dare?

**Skip one chapter for hilarity. This is just explaining how things came about. Enjoy!**

" I wish to play a game." Myrnin said as he strolled into the Glass House on a crisp, Morganville evening. And by strolled I mean just _walked in through the door without knocking_. This startled a mid-making-out-on-the-sofa Claire and Shane.

" Myrnin!" Claire yelped, suprised and unsuprised that her bipolar boss had just walked into her home, without asking. Or knocking.

Shane mainly glared angrily.

" Don't look at me like that, boy," Myrnin told him. " Or you'll face will forever stay like that."

This evening Myrnin had gone with the subtle hobo look. A way-too-big, neon coloured shirt, baggy pants that Morley would've thrown out as too trampy and of course, his vampire-bunny slippers.

" I heard something about a game!" Eve called appearing with Michael at her side. " What're we playing?"

Michael sat in his armchair and Eve followed, and sat on the arm. Myrnin, feeling uncomfortable standing, decided that he would sit down too. But being the polite soul he was, Myrnin didn't want to sit on the furniture, so the floor would have to do. He crossed his legs and folded his hands neatly across them.

" I don't know." Myrnin shrugged. " What do you have in mind, Steve?"

" It's _Eve_, Godammit." Eve growled.

" What an odd name. _Evego-"_

" Don't you even _say it,_ Nutty McFang-pants." Eve pointed her finger threatingly at Myrnin, who closed his mouth mid-sentence. Eve proceeded.

" I think, and this is a

cliché because our narrator-slash-fanfictioness had to do it at some point, but... TRUTH OR DARE!"

But, they weren't the only ones playing Truth or Dare...

~Somewhere in Morganville, on a street, in a house, four vampires gathered to play a game~

These four vampires were Vampire Queen Amelie, Second-in-command and Awesomest Coffee Shop Owner Oliver, The Fabulous (yet over dramatic and tramp-like) Morley and... Pennywell. Amelie sat next to her beloved Oliver on the sofa, cuddling close. Pennywell sat on the floor, backk resting against the white sofa. All the while Morley stood.

All of these vampires were bored of, well, everything (there's only so much you can do in a thousand years) and Morley was complaining (as always) and he was annoying the shit out of everyone.

" People, we have to do _something._" He groaned.

" Then go back to Blacke and leave us alone." Amelie snapped.

She'd earned a chuckle from Oliver and a smirk from Pennywell.

Morley gave her a grin. " Maybe I will, if you learn to control yours first."

Amelie's eyes sparked red. " Shut up, you over-dramatic bafoon."

Morley dismissed her with a wave of his hand. " Why don't we play Truth or Dare?" He asked.

Oliver became curious. " Truth or Dare?"

" Yes, dear boy, Truth or Dare. A game in which you ask one person if they would rather tell a truth or have a dare. I've heard of these sort of things in fanfiction on the internets. They're rather..._unique,_ shall we say?"

" This sounds like fun." Pennywell grinned like a shark; astounding and deadly.

Oliver nodded. " This is my sort of game."

Everyone looked at Amelie, who rolled her eyes. " I may as well play, too. You boys don't get _all_ the fun."

And so, the night proceeded with two dare games. I wonder how this will endure?


	4. How The Dare Game Proceeded

It endured terribly. You all should have guessed that flat out.

But I guess I should tell you how it got so bad... I'll begin back with the four vampires, starting truth or dare for the first time...

~**_Back to The Vampires~_**

" Amelie, why don't you go first? It only seems fair since you're the only woman here." Morley told Amelie with grin. Amelie rolled her eyes.

" Very well." She sighed.

All of them were sitting in a circle on the old creaky wooden floor of the house. Morley was excited to say the least. Pennywell didn't really care. Oliver hope to see Amelie strip. Amelie herself, knew exactly who to dare first. And it was a _good_ one.

Looking at Oliver's faraway glint in his eyes and the smirk on his face, she knew what he was thinking and bit back a laugh. She would enjoy this (and hold it against him for the rest of eternity).

" Oliver, darling," She said sweetly, trying not to giggle. Oliver snapped out of his day-dream (night-dream?) and turned to look at his girlfriend.

" Yes?" He asked without a hint of suspicion.

" Truth or dare?"

Being the man (vampire? Gosh, this is confusing) that he was, Oliver knew what he was going to choose, and, _thinking_ that he knew Amelie wouldn't be able to come up with a gut-wrenching, red-as-a-rose blush moment, he would be in the safe. But that's just what Amelie wanted.

" Dare." Oliver said proudly, his chest swelling with pride and courage.

Without missing a beat Amelie repiled swiftly, " I dare you to make out with Morley,"

" WHAT?!" Both Morley and Oliver shouted at once, interupting Amelie.

" Let me finish," Amelie said calmly. There was a pause. " For three minutes."

" No." Oliver growled.

" Nope. Nadda. No way." Morley said shaking his head.

" Yes!" Pennywell cheered. Everyone looked at him. Pennywell shrugged. " It would get more subscribes on Youtube for it. Apparently lots of girls like something called yaoi?"

Amelie shrugged. " Understandable. Right, Pennywell you can be our camera man. Oliver be a man and make out with Morley for three minutes, it's not _that _bad surely."

" And Morley," Pennywell added. " Take it like a man."

**_~ Back To The Glass House~ _**

" Myrnin, dare someone already!" Eve cried. Myrnin had the honour to dare someone... about ten minutes ago. He couldn't think of who to dare or what to make them do, well all except one.

" Can I dare myself?" Myrnin asked politely. Eve looked like she was going to rip her hair out.

" Sure, as long as you do something good." Shane shrugged boredly. Michael gave a thumbs up behind his video camera.

" Okay... I dare myself to go around to Oliver's house, strip to my underwear and yell at him that he knows he wants me." Myrnin said within ten seconds.

No one could help themselves, they all rolled about laughing, or in Claire's case crying with laughter.

" Oh my God," Eve gasped catching her breath. " Let's go!"

~Time skip to Oliver's house~

Outside Oliver's house, all attention was on Myrnin as he strode up to the door and banged on it loudly. The lights were on and Myrnin suspected Oliver was trying to woo Amelie, the little poo (Myrnin doesn't cuss guys, even in his mind...well, not in English, anyways).

" OLIVER!" Myrnin screeched at the top of his lungs, so the whole street could hear it.

" YOU KNOW YOU WANT THE MYRNSTER! DON'T DENY IT!" The curtains in the downstaires window moved and Myrnin calmly strode over to them ripped his Hawaiian shirt off and threw it to the ground. All the while, Claire and the gang were giggling uncontrolably. " I'LL ALWAYS REMEBER WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" Myrnin hopped around and finally managed to throw his trousers off, only leaving him in his underwear (a sexy sight believe me). Myrnin got closer to the window and began to yell again.

" I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW YOU MADE LOVE TO ME AND TOLD ME I WAS BEAUTIFUL! AND HOW YOU-" Myrnin went quiet. " How you kissed Morley?"


End file.
